I apologize. It has been some time since I last blogged, and I do not like the feeling.
Strange? Yes.
If you know me well, you know that I love deep conversations, quality time, and that when I was a Junior in college, I took an English class entitled, "Emerson and Thoreau" that truly changed my life.
Just ask my roommate of that time, Kelsey. She saw the way I wrote down Thoreau quotes all over. And I have also decided that when I am older...I want two dogs. One will be Henry and the other Ralph. Or even better...call one Thor and the other Waldo. So that way, when I can't find him I will find myself laughing as I'm saying, "Where's Waldo?" What? Don't like it? Fine, go a buy a goldfish...that's cool. (OK fish really are cool).
Anyway, I began to retreat a lot to places around Fort Worth. To parks. To secluded benches on trails. In between interesting trees. And I sat. I wrote. But I mostly sat for long periods of time.
I have this poster on my wall---(in high school I went through a poster purchasing stage, more like a sweet little era, where I would spend all my money on new and beautiful, rich and meaningful...or so I thought, posters...not counting the one with the chubby little boy reaching for the cookie jar or the one of Koko and Smoky---so sue me? I found them endearing and precious). So, back to the poster.
It is entitled "Quiet Places." Next to that, in small italicized letters it says, "the quieter you become, the more you can hear."
Boom. That's good stuff right there. So true. Don't believe me? Go sit outside somewhere. Set your phone down...the people texting or emailing you on the other end can wait. Go outside. Just get up and move into a quiet place. Let your soul rest in what God has created.
Get away from the business. For a moment. You don't have time? There is too much to do?
Jesus says, "Come to me..." Matthew 11:28. "..all who are weary and burdened..." sit and marvel... or wrestle with confusion and anger... or cry... or laugh and rejoice.."and [he] will give you
rest."
"The quieter you become the more you can hear."
Life does not slow down. People do not slow down. Look around. Everyone has somewhere to be, a plane to catch, a game to watch, a conference call to make, an email to send...what about a breath to take?
I say all this mostly as I feel that I should have mirror dancing beneath my aging fingertips. My life right now is in a weird spot. An interesting spot. I find myself constantly watching the hearts of people around me, and it makes me tired. I am making myself tired. Not just physically, but my soul is tired.
As I was reading my bible, I found myself just reading all over. I am scattered to understand more. I'm thirsty to know my Jesus more. I was reading Matthew 11. And in verse 28, he says "
come to me". I have been moving around so much but to where have I been going?
If you just look around everyone is always moving...and in some way or another, admit it or not, we are all weary...
When do we
rest?
"The quieter you become, the more you can hear."
I do not know much. But I feel that the older we get, we either let our hearts get harder to life around us, or we allow them to be softened from the pain, sweeter from the joys, and open to the rest that only One can truly provide.
Farewell for now. And in the words of Henry David Thoreau, "love is the profoundest of secrets."
-S
