Thursday, October 25, 2012

Just Because.

No matter what age we are going to find ourselves, I feel like we'll always miss something:

A loved one we lost
Something special that was tarnished
Specific eras of our lives that marked great moments
A younger version of ourselves

There is always something. But do you ever have that feeling on those quiet and cloudy days when you find yourself missing something you never had?

I think you know what I mean. I think I know what I mean. But I could never really explain what I mean. Understand?

It's that simple and sweet moment, when the world gets quiet around you. You find yourself opening up the dusty shoe boxes in your heart that you packed away for a simple and lonely day. Re-reading lines of pages that were flooded with young and vibrant passions. Young and vibrant dreams. And then you realize you traded in fire for a flashlight and beauty turned boring.

My dear sojourner, you're not alone. Your heart is welcomed here. 
I understand those feelings. Feelings of the different. Feelings of the failure. Feelings of the longing for more. Feelings that you feel are sometimes more annoying than you want them to be. You just want to exhale for once and not feel like you have been holding your breath for the last 26 years. I get those feelings. But again, they're feelings.

My feelings are not always my reality. My reality is clear even when my heart is blurry.
Growing up, I always felt like a mis-fit, inside. But if we're honest with ourselves, didn't a lot of us feel that way? That not everyone understood us? That we were the ones that wanted to stand out and change the world? We would go places. Everyone else was just too simple and just too normal.

But over time, we put things in more boxes and scattered them into the small corners we call our memory. We traded in the places we thought we would go and put on a new nametag. "Hi, Simple, meet Normal."

However, the dreams are still there. They will never leave, because they're waiting for you. As my dear comrade, Henry, once said:
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. 

Come on, dear soul. Let's work on that foundation.

-S